You reap what you sow

Standing on the threshold,
to a new beginning.
Experience hinders joy,
why should I be winning?

Being happy and positive,
is a state of mind.
I guess those are states,
I have left behind.

So many things in my life,
I wish I could have said no.
In the end I guess it’s true,
you always reap what you sow.

My thoughts are a mess,
it’s hard to think.
Shaking like a leaf,
coughing up blood in the sink.