Another failure now

Another failure now,
another chance wasted.
Guess I should be used to it,
It’s all I’ve ever tasted.

Did I want it too much,
is that really what’s wrong.
Does it even matter now,
after you are gone?

I really thought this was it,
could see myself falling.
Looking back now,
I should have heard experience calling.

I try to analyze what went wrong,
I’ll do whatever it takes.
I should stop listening to my heart,
it always makes mistakes.

I fear I might grow cold again,
is that a sign of weakness?
I don’t want to lose my footing,
I will not succumb to this.

I promised myself to open up,
now I can feel the regrets.
I wonder if I can ever hope for more,
is this as good as it gets?