Broken

You obviously don't know me,
but I understand:
because I'm not popular,
I'm clearly not "in"
Yeah, I'm that weirdo,
that 15 year-old girl
Dark eyes, hair and skin
can't say fat but still way far from being thin
I'm kinda used to it,
but deep inside I still feel the pain
I'm sure I won't be going to the prom next year,
I mean: is there any guy who even thinks me attractive
(haha, doubt it)
I know I act kinda strange,
but I'm so nervous
I don't want others to laugh at me,
but still it feels like they always do
I want to feel loved, wanted;
but I still feel like that bag of dirt:
used, ugly, abominable, neglected
My mask, my facade
oh, I've had that one on far too long
It's killing me on the inside,
even from the ones that love me I still hide
I hate myself... but I still don't understand why
Why?
Thought I'd put it together,
straightened it a bit more, though that doesn't last forever
I'm awake the whole night,
and my mind wanders to the subject I've battled before:
suicide
Oh, I'm a nothing so why would the world even bother?
my family no clue has
my friends... well, do they even care?
I'm a bit-more-than-middle-weigh
the ugly bitch
Who am I kidding?
I wish I could fall asleep,
and never again wake up to my misery