Ache

I have so much to envy,
Starring at my own reflection with a look so empty,
And except for the person starring back at me, there’s nothing wrong with it.
Just have to be a little more independent, make it all fit.
I have so many fucked up mistakes,
Followed closely by all these aches.

I wish they would go away,
Feels like they just want me to pay,
For all my guilt and all my shame,
Slowly weakening my vulnerable frame.
Because if you get deep enough, you’ll find my softer side,
But you won’t get there without a fight.

Only a few has ever been so close to me and my shame,
And even less has ever been there for quite a long time.
But in spite of all these mistakes I’ve already made,
I wouldn’t do them over again if I got the opportunity,
Because they’ve made me the way I am today,
And I never want to through that away.